I'm poor! So desperate am I, that I decided to rob a bank. I'm now in half a billion's worth of debt. I need a bailout!
This takes me back to my days as a bailiff, where I would visit the homes of people who hadn't paid back their student loans to repossess any knowledge they may have gained during their degree. 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be" said some bloke out of Hamlet. Wise words.