Friday, 14 March 2008

Flitting through cyberspace

The internet is one of the most momentous inventions in the history of mankind. That is indisputable, a taxi driver told me so. The fact that you can sit on a computer in central London and connect with someone in the wilds of the Amazon (provided they have a modem and BT landline) in seconds is nothing short of staggering.
This incredible marriage of technology and vision has created something like a 'global village' and the potential for spreading love, peace and understanding is more promising that it has ever been.
But what do we actually use it for?
To tell each other to fuck off.
I recently started an online forum for fans of 'flitting', a game invented by me, which entails standing knee deep in vinegar and being shot at with a pellet gun. Within five minutes of my first post, I had ten replies, all of them containing some variation on the phrase, 'flitting is shit.' The very idea that someone would take time out of their day just to poke fun at my hobby is frankly quite disturbing.
I'd like to say the genuine 'flitters' are any better, but they're not. All of the posts feature snarky comments about other people's flitting abilities, even from flitters who've only played the game a handful of times.
To be perfectly frank, I'm tempted to close the whole enterprise down, move into a cave and become a hermit. Like Herman. There's a kiiiiiind of huuuuush, all over the wooooorllld...

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