I have a recurring problem in which I try to compere events that don’t call for it. I once jumped up during a funeral at a crematorium and started doing a bit of schtick with the mourners. It was only when I cracked wise about the last act being ‘on fire right now’, that I was escorted off the premises.
For that matter, I have a theory about these so-called ‘crematoriums’; I don’t believe that they actually burn those coffins. I think they bung the stiff in the oven and then take the coffins home to use as storage spaces or makeshift kayaks.