"A tramp just fingered my sandwich."
"You mean, you pretended you could speak Burmese just to get me into bed?"
"Don't you dare shoot that fucking vole."
"I never asked to be your weighbridge clerk."
"I know your urologist hates me, I can see it in his eyes."
"Have you ever noticed that a lot of ginger blokes are called Luke?"
"Help! I've been stabbed! Someone get a sponge!"
"Must you italicise everything?"
"Shut up a minute, I'm bowling."
"...and the thing is, he's not even a real Colonel. He just wears military regalia and eats raw popcorn."
"This soup is itchy."
"...what I can't comprehend though, is why you insisted on talking like Frank Bruno for the entire evening."
"You could have a Jubilee party under that sombrero, Carol."
"Stop touching his warts! They bite!"
"I wish you'd turn them pikelets over, they'll burn."
"He's got wood stuck in his teeth! Tickle him!"