Wednesday, 9 December 2009

My letter to the editor...

Dear Editor,

May I begin by commending you on the sterling job you are doing in editing this publication. When I read a piece by one of your writers I think, 'Yes, it's well-written, but it's also well "edited"'.

Anyway, to the main "point" of my "letter". I was incredibly disappointed by the choice of person to switch on Tamworth's Christmas lights. It was, as I'm sure you're aware, a nine year old girl! And not even a famous nine year old girl, like "Lindsay Lohan" or "Smiley Virus", just a regular scummy nine year old girl from a gutter somewhere.

For next year, I have drawn up a wish-list for who I would like to see "switch" on our "festive" lights! Let's be ambitious and see if we can "make it happen!"

1. Aggie Woodbine
2. Grouch Marks
3. Barry from Eggheads
4. Jackie Fulcrum
5. Flavor Flavor
6. Barrie "Silly Bang" Stott
7. Spit the Dog
8. Carol Borderline
9. Father Xmas
10. "Tom Hanks"

Yours "Sincerely"

Concerned President

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