Thursday 9 August 2012

My Inspirational Ballad

Up until now, my songwriting talents have gone largely unnoticed by the general public. I don't know why this is. Could it be that the great unwashed aren't ready for my Afro-punk-folk-bluegrass jams? Or can the liberal elite not come to terms with my uncompromising racial lyrics? Who knows?

The point is, I can no longer afford to stick to my principles. I've got too many mouths to feed. Seriously, just mouths. I have a family of disembodied mouths living in my house, and they're always hungry. Even though they have no digestive system. What I'm trying to say is, I spend every waking hour cleaning chewed-up food from off my floor.

Anyway, upon watching the Olympic coverage on the BBC, it occurred to me that it might be an idea to record a song that can be played over inspirational montages of athletes winning things in slow motion. A song I could sell to every broadcaster for them to play and play and play, until everyone just wishes they were dead. That's right; I'm going after the elusive Snow Patrol dollar.

So now, in the spirit of Olympic goodwill, I am sharing the lyrics to my brand new inspiration ballad; Winning.


Winning by Jah Mash-up (Ben Davids)

I can see the finish line,
Looming up ahead.
Will I get to it in time,
Or will I end up dead?

It doesn't matter where you're from,
Your colour or your creed.
All that matters is that you can run,
You can run at a decent speed.

Chorus
We are winning,
You and I,
Forever winning,
Throw your hands in the sky.
The world could stop,
The moon could shrink,
But we're winners.
What do you think?

I've seen you running,
Running around the park.
I think you are stunning,
Now you've run off with my heart.

It doesn't matter if you're a big man,
Or a girly midget.
Because, baby I'm the can,
And you're my plastic widget. (Nothing else rhymes)

Chorus
We are winning,
You and I,
Forever winning,
Throw your hands in the sky.
The world could stop,
The moon could shrink,
But we're winners.
What do you think?

Instrumental
A soaring orchestral swell, accompanied by a guitar solo that sounds a bit like the one Slash does when he walks out of that church and stands in the middle of the desert with his legs really far apart.

Chorus (In a higher key and accompanied by a gospel choir)
We are winning,
You and I,
Forever winning,
Throw your hands in the sky.
The world could stop,
The moon could shrink,
But we're winners.
What do you think?
We are winning,
You and I,
Forever winning,
Throw your hands in the sky.
The world could stop,
The moon could shrink,
But we're winners,
Just like Nigel Spink.
Just like Nigel Spink.
Just like Nigel Spink.
(Oooooooh, yeah)
Just like Nigel Spink.
(Baby, baby, baby)
Just like Nigel Spink,
(Owwwww fuck!)
Just like Nigel Spink.
We are winning,
What do you think?

Elton bloody John!