Marathon Man

I ran into an old friend the other week, and he invited me to a Clint Eastwood film marathon round his house at the weekend, he was showing Lafayette Escadrille, Ambush at the Cimarron Pass, A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, the Good, The Bad and the Ugly, The Witches, The Magnificent Stranger, Hang 'Em High, Coogan's Bluff, Where Eagles Dare, Paint Your Wagon, 2 Mules for Sister Sara, Kelly's Heroes, The Beguiled, Play Misty for Me, Dirty Harry, Joke Kidd, High Plains Drifter, Magnum Force, Thunderbolt & Lightfoot, The Eiger Sanction, the Outlaw Josey Wales, The Enforcer, the Gauntlet, Every Which Way But Loose, Escape from Alcatraz, Bronco Billy, Any Which Way You Can, Firefox, Honkytonk Man, Sudden Impact, Tightrope, City Heat, Pale Rider, Heartbreak Ridge, The Dead Pool, Pink Cadillac, White Hunter, Black Heart, The Rookie, Unforgiven, In The Line of Fire, A Perfect World, The Bridges of Madison County, Absolute Power, True Crime, Space Cowboys, Blood Work, Million Dollar Baby and Gran Torino.

I didn't go though, I'm not a big fan.

Buzzards Celebrity Blog Number Eight: Henry VIII

Had six wives, he did. Six. I don't know how he found the time to invent the vacuum cleaner.

Losing my Religion

I've decided to convert. Up until now, I have been a strict Church of England man. Not that I ever went to church, except for weddings and such, but apart from that I was devout. I mean, come on, who wants to go to church these days? I went to Midnight Mass once, it lasted two hours. Wasn't it Jesus himself who said that 'brevity is the soul of wit?' What do you mean, no?

Anyway, I have decided to convert to Islam. I know, I know, they've got a bad reputation lately, what with all the suicide bombings and such, but I'm not scared of suicide bombers. In fact (snigger) I think they've been blown up out of all proportion! (snigger)

They didn't like that gag down at the mosque.

Anyway, the main reason I decided to convert was not especially spiritual, but because of what they call God: Allah. I just like how informal it is, how you can shorten it to Al.

I wouldn't mind a God called Al, because it makes Him seem less scary. and I don't think he'll mind much. In fact, wasn't it God Himself who said, 'You Can Call Me Al?'

What do you mean no?

Laughter

Sometimes life makes me laugh. I was in a shop the other day, buying some pick 'n' mix, when the cashier tried to charge me four pounds! Four pounds? That's almost five pounds!
Oh how I laughed, I stood there, at the front of a long queue and just laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed until I was hoarse. A store detective asked me to leave but I just laughed right into his face.
On the way home, I tried to laugh in the face of death but there was none around so I just laughed at a funeral procession.